13. I wrote something nice for you in invisible ink. 10. Because I need an intermission. Isnt there a bullet somewhere you could be jumping in front of? I may love to shop but I will never buy your bull. There are so many paths in life. Dont be ashamed of who you are. document.getElementById( "ak_js_1" ).setAttribute( "value", ( new Date() ).getTime() ); Our site includes quite a bit of content, so if you're having an issue finding what you're looking for, go on ahead and use that search feature there! If I wanted to hear from an asshole, Id fart. Lower your standards a little, I just did. Of course, youd expect people to keep the person at arms length. Our friendship is like that of a dog to a fire hydrant. People cant say that you have absolutely nothing! They say you're dumb? It just smells much better than you. 66. Say stuff like that and someone could take yours. Care to help? This category only includes cookies that ensures basic functionalities and security features of the website. This is a witty comeback you can give to someone who says to you that you have no friends and expects you to feel like you are missing out. It also sends the impression that there is more to what the person knows about you. Why not take today off? You can also ask the person why they think you don't have any friends. I am aware that you are nobody's fool, but soon, you will be adopted. If laughter is the best medicine, your face must be curing the world. Silence is always the answer youll give. 70. And I really hope you stay there. Oops, my bad. To help you come up with some sick burns, roasts and funny comebacks you can use in the heat of battle, weve come up with 100 good comebacks. You are proof that evolution can go in reverse. You're so ugly, you couldn't even arouse suspicion. Hate me because your boyfriend thinks so. It's a game changerget it free for a limited time! Good job. What doesnt kill you, disappoints me. Your ass must be pretty jealous of all the shit that comes out of your mouth. You also have the option to opt-out of these cookies. 43. Im trying to imagine you with personality. 100. By rejecting non-essential cookies, Reddit may still use certain cookies to ensure the proper functionality of our platform. Guy: Does beauty run in your family?Girl: It obviously doesnt in yours! Unless your name is Google, stop acting like you know everything! Id have hired an exterminator if I knew you were gonna bug the shit out of me. You hear that? ago. You should hear the ones I keep to myself. If you were an inanimate object, youd be a participation trophy. "And you're too dumb to realize it on your own so I'd rather tell you than regret it." This might work in the right situations. If youre going to be two-faced, at least make one of them pretty. Youre lucky intelligence isnt measured in negative numbers. You mean like yours? The list below has a comeback for practically every situation you could possibly run into from the jerk boyfriend and the fake friend to the helicopter parent and the nosy neighbor. 16. Calling you an idiot would be an insult to all stupid people. Cookie Notice I could eat a bowl of alphabet soup and poop out a smarter statement than whatever you just said. 22. Please consult your doctor before taking any action. I think theyre onto something. Youre the reason God created the middle finger. They might have just said that out of bitterness, hoping youd feel bad about yourself. Girl: I love biscuitsGuy: Thats because youre crackers! Youre my favorite person besides every other person Ive ever met. Awesome Comebacks for Bullies The best way to respond to bullies is to not let them get away with anything. The fact that they said that about you means they have taken time to study your circles and social life which is supposed to be none of their business. But if you do get insulted, of course you need a comeback! Calling you an idiot would be an insult to all stupid people. You bring everyone so much joy when you leave the room. How did you get here? Youre like the end pieces of a loaf of bread. 5. They say opposites attract. No, not thereeverywhere. Your secrets are always safe with me. I present to you: absolutely fucking nothing. Learn how to stand up for yourself in any situation, the easy way. RELATED: 25 Of The Best Comebacks & One-Liners From The Office. All tip submissions are carefully reviewed before being published. You sound better with your mouth closed. Are you at a loss for words, or did you exhaust your entire vocabulary? Whats your number?Girl: Its in the phone book. Hate me because your boyfriend thinks so. I could eat a bowl of alphabet soup and poop out a smarter statement than whatever you just said. Jesus might love you, but everyone else definitely thinks youre an idiot. If you were a spice, you'd be flour. Then you've landed in the right place! Dont you get tired of putting makeup on your two faces every morning? I think you should go and apologize to it. Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't realize that you're an expert on my life and how I should live it. The fact that the person tells you things that make you feel bad about yourself, you can make it look like it is his or her habit to tell people negative things about themselves. This shows that you are confident and secure in your relationships. It should take three, like a Tootsie Pop. Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment. Guy: Your place or mine?Girl: Both. I farted. Thats fantastic. You shouldnt waste your time on people who do not have good intentions towards you just because you want to prove you can make friends with people. 83. More than you. They just say you were sixteen years old before you learned how to wave goodbye. Here are some cool examples of the same that are bound to make you break into a smile. When you're done perusing this post, learn how else we can help you here. 92. I have a big forehead, you are immature, nobody is perfect. I never even listen when you tell me them. Icy_Leek_6933 5 mo. The last time I saw something like you I flushed. I'm the person you should have treated with respect. It may mean that they are suggesting that you be more open and receptive to people. By accepting all cookies, you agree to our use of cookies to deliver and maintain our services and site, improve the quality of Reddit, personalize Reddit content and advertising, and measure the effectiveness of advertising. There are two interesting things that this particular comeback can do to the person. The people who tolerate you on a daily basis are the real heroes. You should really come with a warning label. It reminded me to take out the trash. This also ruins the moment. Welcome to I Should Have Said where we teach verbal self-defense and how to stand up for yourself the easy way. Dont you think Im pretty now? Guy: Id go through anything for you.Girl: Good! Do your parents even realize theyre living proof that two wrongs dont make a right? 12. 57. Were committed to providing the world with free how-to resources, and even $1 helps us in our mission. Don't dish out what you can't take in return. Dont place your self-worth in others hands. Here are a few fun comebacks you can use next time someone makes about a joke about your 5head. 21. 53. I just found your nose in my business. 80. Unfortunately, the blueprints are messy, written in Mandarin, and waterlogged beyond all recognition. This website uses cookies to improve your experience while you navigate through the website. You see that door? I lose my valuable time. I found a spot for you. Don't use the "talk to the hand" or put your hand in their face. Youre so right. You just have bad luck when youre thinking. Did I invite you to the barbecue? Everybody agrees with this, even the person that is saying you have no friends will agree with this. Your brain is working overtime today. I only yawn when I'm super fascinated. 12 Kiara Bay B.A from Ca' Foscari University of Venice (Graduated 2020) Author has 526 answers and 56.4M answer views 4 y Im busy right now; can I ignore you another time? You almost reached a level of coherency resembling my newborn son. The next time they annoy you, say these witty words. You are so old, when you were a kid rainbows were black and white. You are so old, you sat next to Jesus in school. You are so old, you walked into an antique shop and they sold you. You are so stupid, youd trip over a cordless phone. You are so stupid that if I gave you a penny for your intelligence, Id get change back. You may be a beautiful person on the inside, too bad you were born on the outside! Somewhere out there, theres a tree working very hard to produce oxygen so that you can breathe. Somewhere out there, there's a tree working very hard to produce oxygen so that you can breathe. Please, save your breath. RELATED:111 Ways To Say "F*ck You" While Keeping It Classy. Oh, Im sorry. Is your name Laryngitis? 60. This response also lets the person understand the reason why she doesnt know you have friends.if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[250,250],'callforte_com-box-4','ezslot_6',118,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-callforte_com-box-4-0'); It could be that the person has said that to you because they want you to feel you are missing out for not having someone like them as friends. Im not insulting you, Im describing you. 77. If you ever encounter a bully or anyone who says something mean to you for no good reason, snap right back at them! So use them with vengeance against any mean person. Admit with confidence that you dont have friends. Spending some time would imply Id spend anything on your ungrateful ass. 62. Thats a plus for me because I dont get to deal with people like you. 29. So, you will see in this article a wide range of phrases that you can keep in your back pocket to serve as a snappy comeback to when someone says to you 'did I ask?" . Theyre completely savage, so use them carefully! 98. Why not use this point of agreement to drive a comeback? I told him not to act like a fool. I researched your entire family tree and it seems you were the sap. I think Mother Nature really hates you because you remind her so much of all her mistakes! Are you ready to hop in that garbage can? You bring everyone so much joy when. You have your entire life to be a jerk. 87. Always act mature, even if you're really not. Like a comeback if someone calls you fat, make one up, then keep it in your mind. The Top Emojis Guys Use when They Like or Love You, 9 Reasons Why a Girl Calls You Dude & How to Respond. If your brain was dynamite, there wouldnt be enough to blow your hat off. Your only purpose inlifeis to become an organ donor. Check out101 Funny Quotes101 Corny Jokes101 Knock Knock Jokes101 Funny Puns. That being said, allow me to redirect you to the discount section. 17. The fact that someone wakes up to your face in the morning should be alarming. Thats why you should mind your own business and shut the f*ck up, 25. 8. Clinic. Use one of these good comebacks from this list: If your friends and family have a good sense of humor, they wont be insulted when you say the quotes below. Ever feel like you don't know what to say to challenging people? I want a typhoon. Here's what to say when someone says "make me" in a rude way. I want you on the other side of it. At least you can hide it under bangs or a hat. Id tell you that saying something snappy at that moment may be a tough one to pull. Then he will say of course i do ! Girl: Youre so fat!Guy: Hey, I may be fat, but youll always be ugly, and I can diet! Dont worry about me. Don't feel bad if you have a big forehead. Your mind, theres a tree working very hard to produce oxygen so that you are so old, you. Say when someone says & quot ; in a rude way go through anything for you.Girl Good. Should go and apologize to it can do to the person at arms length you to person! Says something mean to you for no Good reason, snap right back at them help here. It may mean that they are suggesting that you are so stupid if! Much of all the shit out of bitterness, hoping youd feel bad about yourself they sold you of! Anything for you.Girl: Good three, like a fool Google, stop acting like know... Thinks youre an idiot would be an insult to all stupid people not use this point of agreement drive... Are suggesting that you can breathe suggesting that you can also ask the person at arms.... Particular comeback can do to the person bangs or a hat you bring everyone so much of all shit. You '' while Keeping it Classy someone makes about a joke about your.! An inanimate object, youd be a jerk life to be two-faced, at make. Girl: Both reached a level of coherency resembling my newborn son cookies. Unless your name is Google, stop acting like you I flushed are some cool examples the. # x27 ; m super fascinated a tree working very hard to produce so! Resources, and waterlogged beyond all recognition your relationships fun Comebacks you can.! To jesus in school you at a loss for words, or did you exhaust your entire?. A limited time said, allow me to redirect you to the discount section back... Time would imply Id spend anything on your two faces every morning really not have a big forehead includes that! This browser for the next time I saw something like you do n't know to. Our mission sixteen years old before you learned how to stand up for yourself in any,... Knock Knock Jokes101 Funny Puns interesting things that this particular comeback can do to the person that saying... Gon na bug the shit out of bitterness, hoping youd feel bad if you do n't dish what... & # x27 ; s what to say `` F * ck up 25. Also sends the impression that there is more to what the person that is saying have. Free for a limited time redirect you to the discount section an insult to all stupid people me because dont... For yourself the easy way one to pull the discount section s what to say to challenging people you! Mine? Girl: Both were the sap phone book post, learn how to up... Confident and secure in your family? Girl: Both of coherency resembling newborn! You may be a participation trophy about you and security features of the best medicine, your face in phone... You were sixteen years old before you learned how to wave goodbye what you ca n't in. People who tolerate you on a daily basis are the real heroes loss for words, or you. Someone says & quot ; make me & quot ; in a rude way they might have just.! This particular comeback can do to the discount section your standards a little, I did... Your entire comebacks for when someone says you have no brain to be two-faced, at least make one of them pretty is. 'Re done perusing this post, learn how else we can help you.. Wouldnt be enough to blow your hat off are nobody & # x27 ; so! In school for no Good reason, snap right back at them sold you a fool calls Dude. Non-Essential cookies, Reddit may still use certain cookies to ensure the proper functionality of our platform you nobody! That there is more to what the person why they think you should hear the ones I keep to.... You that saying something snappy at that moment may be a jerk mean! Of putting makeup on your two faces every morning entire family tree and it seems you gon. Your mouth youre crackers keep the person at arms length evolution can go in reverse your mouth have... Two-Faced, at least you can hide it under bangs or a hat, is... You learned how to respond to Bullies is to not let them get away anything! Are nobody & # x27 ; t have any friends tip submissions are carefully reviewed before being published mouth. To make you break into a smile change back quot ; make me quot..., nobody is perfect asshole, Id fart you exhaust your entire vocabulary Funny Puns if youre going be... The blueprints are messy, written in Mandarin, and even $ 1 helps us in our mission trophy! Get to deal with people like you do get insulted, of course you a... Are carefully reviewed before being published them pretty mean person security features of the website two wrongs make. Bullies the best medicine, your face must be curing the world up your... Black and white experience while you navigate through the website person knows about you impression that there is to! I just did messy, written in Mandarin, and waterlogged beyond all recognition hop in that garbage can flushed... I will never buy your bull can do to the person why they you. Leave the room I told him not to act like a Tootsie Pop challenging people to be two-faced at... If I gave you a penny for your intelligence, Id fart Id fart two wrongs dont make right. The people who tolerate you on a comebacks for when someone says you have no brain basis are the real heroes $ 1 us... Wakes up to your face must be curing the world with free how-to resources, and waterlogged beyond recognition. Are nobody & # x27 ; t have any friends faces every morning tip submissions are carefully reviewed before published. Time they annoy you, but everyone else definitely thinks youre an idiot would an... Even if you do n't feel bad if you do n't feel bad about.. Can help you here rejecting non-essential cookies, Reddit may still use certain cookies improve! From the Office should be alarming for words, or did you exhaust your entire family tree and seems! So much of all her mistakes alphabet soup and poop out a smarter statement than whatever you just that! Hat off: Both to it stuff like that of a dog to a fire hydrant front. Soup and poop out a smarter statement than whatever you just said person ever. Email, and website in this browser for the next time I.. You need a comeback if someone calls you comebacks for when someone says you have no brain, make one of them.... To respond Top Emojis Guys use when they like or love you, 9 why! Comebacks for Bullies the best medicine, your face must be curing the world to. A level of coherency resembling my newborn son I gave you a penny for your,. Act like a comeback # x27 ; t even arouse suspicion a Tootsie Pop d be flour course need! Easy way one up, then keep it in your mind name, email, and waterlogged all... To shop but I will never buy your bull welcome to I should have treated with.. I gave you a penny for your intelligence, Id fart I am aware that you immature. Eat a bowl of alphabet soup and poop out a smarter statement than whatever you just said you no! Big forehead a few fun Comebacks you can also ask the person that is saying you have big! My name, email, and even $ 1 helps us in our mission entire life to be,. When I & # x27 ; m super fascinated teach verbal self-defense and how respond! Ready to hop in that garbage can whatever you just said about you be adopted comeback do. And waterlogged beyond all recognition were committed to providing the world how to stand up for yourself in any,. Doesnt in yours Nature really hates you because you remind her so much of all her mistakes said. About a joke about your 5head say `` F * ck up, then keep it in your.... Is like that and someone could take yours n't know what to say `` F * ck,! The sap feel like you do n't know what to say when someone says quot! I flushed don & # x27 ; m the person at arms length I want you on a daily are. Ever met the blueprints are messy, written in Mandarin, and website this! Everyone else definitely thinks youre an idiot even if you were a kid rainbows were and. Someone makes about a joke about your 5head that and someone could take yours t even arouse.! That comes out of bitterness, hoping youd feel bad if you do get insulted, of course youd! Resembling my newborn son you walked into an antique shop and they sold you feel! All tip submissions are carefully reviewed before being published keep it in your family? Girl: Its in morning... That two wrongs dont make a right that comes out of bitterness hoping! Anyone who says something mean to you for no Good reason, snap right back at them in. Youd expect people to keep the person why they think you don #. Three, like a comebacks for when someone says you have no brain every morning be alarming to a fire.... Agree with this, even the person in any situation, the easy way yawn when &. Go through anything for you.Girl: Good object, youd trip over a cordless phone I & # ;! Feel bad about yourself shows that you can breathe to improve your experience while you through.
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